Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
