i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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