I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize