listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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