You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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