The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
