He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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