It's like God shit irony all over that family
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.