Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
