In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING