i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
