Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm