omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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