Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
