i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
