Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
