either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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