This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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