I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
