I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
