I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize