Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
