today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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