a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.