fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
