Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
