there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My balls are so social today.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
