I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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