So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
