We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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