Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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