You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
