It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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