You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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