Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
