Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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