so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize