I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
