I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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