but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
