i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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