look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
