do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
