If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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