Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No stitches, just platelets and will power
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.