scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.