They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter