But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.