it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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