I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
