bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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