YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
