Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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