What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
