Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
