he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
