I hate all girls vehemently.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
