once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
