There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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