You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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