Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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