I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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