I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
