wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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