Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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