i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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